Why Slowing Down Is So Hard for High-Achievers

If you’re a high achieving woman, slowing down can be surprisingly difficult.

You may be successful, driven, and used to being the person who gets things done. You manage work, relationships, family, appointments, responsibilities, and probably a long list of things that no one else even knows you are keeping track of. You may enjoy what you do and feel proud of how much you have accomplished, but there can also be a point where constantly moving from one thing to the next starts to feel exhausting.

Maybe you finally have a free afternoon and find yourself filling it with errands. Maybe you sit down to relax but immediately think about what you should be doing instead. Or maybe you know you need rest, but slowing down feels uncomfortable enough that staying busy seems easier.

There is nothing wrong with you if this feels familiar. When you have spent years being productive, responsible, and capable, your mind and body can get used to being “on.” Even when you have time to rest, it can be hard to know how to shift out of that constant state of doing.

Slowing down does not have to require an entire day off or a complete change to your routine. Sometimes a few intentional moments throughout the day can help you pause and reconnect with yourself.

Here are a few simple practices to try.

Give Yourself a Moment to Pause

One simple way to pause is to place one hand on your belly and one hand on your chest. Notice the contact of your hands and the support they offer.

You might notice the rise and fall of your belly beneath your hand as you breathe. There is no need to change or control your breathing. Just take a few moments to be with your breath.

You might say to yourself: “I know there is a part of me that wants to keep going, but it’s okay to take a few seconds to slow down.”

For many high achievers, there may be a part of you that feels safer staying busy, productive, or focused on what comes next. Rather than fighting with that part or trying to force yourself to relax, you can acknowledge it while giving yourself a few moments to pause.

Try this before opening your laptop in the morning, between meetings, sitting in your car before going inside, or before bed.

Hum or sing a song

Humming or singing can be a simple way to help your body settle. Humming can stimulate the vagus nerve and support a shift toward a more relaxed state. Try humming a low “voo” sound or a song for 30 seconds to three minutes, and then take a moment to notice how you feel.

You can also put on a song you enjoy and sing along, without trying to do anything else at the same time. Giving yourself a few minutes to focus on the music can create a natural pause in the middle of a busy day and give your mind and body a chance to slow down.

Shake it out

Sometimes the best way to slow down is to move.

If you have been sitting in meetings all day, staring at a screen, or carrying tension from one responsibility into the next, try shaking your body out for 30 seconds to three minutes.

Put on a song and dance. Jump up and down. Shake your arms and legs. Move in whatever way feels good to you.

As you move, imagine some of the stress and energy from the day shaking off. You may be surprised by how different you feel after even a minute or two of movement.

This can be especially helpful between meetings, after work, or anytime you notice yourself feeling tense, restless, or fatigued.

Start small

If you are used to pushing yourself, you may find yourself wanting to turn slowing down into another goal. You might think you need the right morning routine, an hour of self care every day, or another habit to add to your already full schedule.

Instead, start by looking for small moments that already exist in your day.

Take a few intentional breaths before answering a text. Step outside without your phone. Listen to one song without multitasking. Sit in your car for a minute before walking into your next commitment.

You do not have to do any of these perfectly. There may be parts of you that want to get up, check your phone, make a list, or move on to the next thing. You can notice that without judging yourself.

Over time, these small moments can help you become more familiar with pausing and checking in with yourself. You might start to notice what your body needs, when you are reaching your limit, or how often you have been moving through the day without giving yourself much space.

Slowing down does not mean becoming less ambitious or giving up the things that matter to you. It can mean making a little more room for yourself within the life you have worked hard to build.

You spend a lot of your time taking care of things and showing up for other people. You deserve to have some time and space for yourself, too.

If you’re ready to slow down and have more support, Deanna would love to connect. Learn more or schedule a consultation at littlebirdcounseling.net.